Over this past week, I had to say my first goodbye to a grandparent. Though he passed rather suddenly at 83, I was flooded with an overwhelming amount of gratitude and positive memories that we have shared throughout the last 28 years. As I celebrated his life and reflected on what he had taught me, I made the decision to work on two of his most admirable traits - cherishing relationships and helping others.
From as early as I can recall, one thing set my grandpa apart from any other family member I have had. Each moment it was time to travel home, my grandpa would cry. As he grew older, his tears made it harder to leave as my visits to Milwaukee or Arizona became further apart. Grandpa wasn't necessary soft or easy to upset, but he simply deeply cherished the relationships and company that people brought. He always smiled and seemed to feed off the energy of others within a relationship. He never had a selfish agenda and often prioritized others over himself even as his body became broken and harder to move. His love and commitment to relationships was unmatched to what is common in today's society of always faster and less sincere.
In addition to his loyalty, Grandpa was a "fixer." Though I have very little exposure to his career as a service station owner, I do know how hard he worked until his last days here. If something needed to be fixed, cleaned or serviced, my Grandpa hated paying someone else to do it. He could never sit still and was happiest when he was working with his hands. Once retired, this work ethic was transferred to helping others. It didn't matter that his knees, hips, back and shoulders were worn out and consequently replaced. Grandpa continued to work, helping neighbors, family and anyone else fix both small and complex problems. Many people were left indebted to his never-ending desire to help.
Reflecting on these traits made me look closely at how my life would be perceived by others. I think it is easy to lose focus and hone in on one or a couple tasks in life. As a person who is a perfectionist and easily addicted personality, I find it even harder. In all honesty, I toe the line frequently between unbalanced and sometimes insane. Most endurance athletes including myself try to juggle work, relationships, family, and sport of choice, often sacrificing one thing for benefits in the other. For me, this vice is running. During the week, if I am not working, I am running. If I am not running then I am recovering or blindly wobbling through tasks around the house. I often sacrifice friendships, social events and late nights for that next long run, next race goal, or next hard effort. Usually, I put between 10-20 hours of training in, solely with my brain, a headlamp, and the sound of my feet as company. The glorious days are when I have a training partner to converse with or push the pain tolerance that one level higher than what I can achieve alone. From an outsider's perspective, most don't understand. From a runner's perspective, the above is often the sacrifice needed to perform well when the start gun is triggered.
Though I have become more balanced and present over the years, I always look for ways to improve upon my current path. Personally, I am not going to sell myself a lie and say I will train less or maintain a more sane calendar. However, a lot can be learned from a person's legacy. I don't want my legacy to be one sided and reflective of a single life focus. I want it to be balanced and centered upon others like that of my grandfather's.
From as early as I can recall, one thing set my grandpa apart from any other family member I have had. Each moment it was time to travel home, my grandpa would cry. As he grew older, his tears made it harder to leave as my visits to Milwaukee or Arizona became further apart. Grandpa wasn't necessary soft or easy to upset, but he simply deeply cherished the relationships and company that people brought. He always smiled and seemed to feed off the energy of others within a relationship. He never had a selfish agenda and often prioritized others over himself even as his body became broken and harder to move. His love and commitment to relationships was unmatched to what is common in today's society of always faster and less sincere.
In addition to his loyalty, Grandpa was a "fixer." Though I have very little exposure to his career as a service station owner, I do know how hard he worked until his last days here. If something needed to be fixed, cleaned or serviced, my Grandpa hated paying someone else to do it. He could never sit still and was happiest when he was working with his hands. Once retired, this work ethic was transferred to helping others. It didn't matter that his knees, hips, back and shoulders were worn out and consequently replaced. Grandpa continued to work, helping neighbors, family and anyone else fix both small and complex problems. Many people were left indebted to his never-ending desire to help.
Reflecting on these traits made me look closely at how my life would be perceived by others. I think it is easy to lose focus and hone in on one or a couple tasks in life. As a person who is a perfectionist and easily addicted personality, I find it even harder. In all honesty, I toe the line frequently between unbalanced and sometimes insane. Most endurance athletes including myself try to juggle work, relationships, family, and sport of choice, often sacrificing one thing for benefits in the other. For me, this vice is running. During the week, if I am not working, I am running. If I am not running then I am recovering or blindly wobbling through tasks around the house. I often sacrifice friendships, social events and late nights for that next long run, next race goal, or next hard effort. Usually, I put between 10-20 hours of training in, solely with my brain, a headlamp, and the sound of my feet as company. The glorious days are when I have a training partner to converse with or push the pain tolerance that one level higher than what I can achieve alone. From an outsider's perspective, most don't understand. From a runner's perspective, the above is often the sacrifice needed to perform well when the start gun is triggered.
Though I have become more balanced and present over the years, I always look for ways to improve upon my current path. Personally, I am not going to sell myself a lie and say I will train less or maintain a more sane calendar. However, a lot can be learned from a person's legacy. I don't want my legacy to be one sided and reflective of a single life focus. I want it to be balanced and centered upon others like that of my grandfather's.